Issue that I have been struggling with lately: is compassion always the best thing to do?

I married a woman who is the most gorgeous woman in the whole world. I felt like the luckiest man alive seeing her walk down the isle. Here was this incredible, blonde fox wanting to forgo all others to spend her life with me.

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Detailed book reviews coming soon.

But…

The woman I married has a dark past. I new from early on in our relationship that she was struggling with sexual and emotional abuse from her childhood. A few weeks before our marriage she had a car accident. She walked away apparently fine, but a few months later her world crumbled. Physically wrecked by back and neck pain. Continuous migraines and depression took their toll. On top of an already fragile psychological framework and, well, lets just say that we are not currently together.

The issue then: on the one hand I have one of my closest most respected dharma brothers telling me “Mike, just hang in there. If you have a good motivation you will be able to work the issues you guys have out”. This appeals to the side of me that thinks, I married this woman. I promised I would support her to the day I die side.

On the other hand my other close dharma bro is saying “mate, this woman is unwell. Give yourself a break! Let her sort her shit out. Give her some space. Give her time. That is the best thing you could do”. This appeals to the side of me that thinks, you can only give so much before you break. An empty cup can not give anything? Is my compassion that strong. That wise?

I feel torn between these two apparently conflicting views of compassion. The hang in there give your all kind, and the take it on the chin, down a stiff drink and move on type.